are you still a virgin?

Are you still a virgin? A question I get asked every Friday and Saturday night. No mate, since the last time I saw you, which happened to be last Friday and Saturday, I have had passionate sex with no less than 32.5 people.

I get asked questions about losing my virginity all the time. Whether or not it relates to why I haven't yet had sex, whether or not I want to have sex or basically any other thing to do with losing my virginity, I get asked a lot of questions. I find it slightly weird, the obsession with people being a virgin or not, especially since virginity is a social construct anyway. The idea of being a virgin was just created to shame people for not yet having sexual intercourse when it is only a body part in another body part which honestly does not really mean much. So, why are people so obsessed with it? Seriously?

Whenever I have a discussion with someone about me being a complete virgin, they always assume it is because I don't want to have sex. Yet I am not against the idea, I really do not care, I just haven't found someone I want to do it with yet. Everyone always assumes it is for some kind of a reason. What are you a lesbian? Too scared? Worried? Can't find anyone? No hun, I just don't feel like it. Then they started chatting about how their first time went, and special tips and tricks for me when I lose my virginity and just like 20 minutes ago when the conversation started, I do not care.

A personal favourite of mine is the classic talk about potential sexual partners. I also enjoy when people start praising you for being so open about the fact you are a virgin. Literal praise for admitting I have not had a dick inside me yet like I have run 25 consecutive marathons or something. Oh, and I like when they start telling you about sex as though you are an alien who has joined Earth and knows literal nothing. Or, possibly the best one yet, the end of the conversation where they look at you and say something along the lines of 'well good for you being a virgin, I wish I never have sex, don't do it'. Don't do it? You've spent the past 40 minutes telling me how sex isn't that bad and encouraging me to lose my virginity just to end the whole thing with don't do it? You are having a giggle.

As a society, all I keep hearing recently is the discussion about the rate of underage pregnancies and the fact that the younger generations are losing their virginity earlier and earlier these days but honestly, what do you expect? Being a virgin has become something that no one wants to be, people are just having sex with each other so they do not have that label. It will get to the point where people would rather be called a slag than a virgin because the word virgin has gained so many negative connotations. Especially if you are over the age of 16 and you haven't had sex, people look at you as though you are a creature from a different planet. Yet it is so hard to explain that being a virgin really is not a massive deal. There are bigger things to worry about in the world than whether or not you or people you know have had sex yet. Regardless of whether or not you are 17 or 67 it really does not matter, do you want to know why? Because it is your body and your choice what you want to do with it. Sleep with no people, sleep with tons of people, it's 2018 people really should stop caring.

So yes, I am 17 and still a virgin. Openly a virgin. Not a lesbian virgin and not a scared virgin. I can find people to sleep with if I want to virgin and I don't want to sleep with any of your friends type of virgin. I am quite happily a virgin. If you hadn't already guessed that.

If you are comfortable with sharing, at what age did you lose your virginity? Did you feel the social pressure to have sex or did it not really bother you? I would love to know!



  1. As soon as you leave high school, no one cares. It's such a high school thing to be interested in people's sex lives because there's not much else to gossip about. I was 17 and never felt a pressure to do it or not.

  2. Really from what people were saying I assumed you must’ve at least been in your twenties. You’d be surprised how many people are still virgins at 17. I lost my virginity a whole year into being with my boyfriend, I was (and still am) 18 and tbh the first time was a little underwhelming. I had this friend who was always asking me if I’d done it yet, to the point of giving me condoms ‘just in case’ and we kinda just felt like we were comfortable with the speed of our relationship. We didn’t listen to others or give in to peer pressure. Over time we just gradually decided to step up our intimate relationship slightly. When we finally had sex, it wasn’t before I had talked it through with my boyfriend and I love him so much that if he had never wanted to have sex then I probably just would’ve never lost my virginity. Also I think it’s personal preference. If you want to wait for marriage, do that. If you want to do it for love like me, then do. If you just want to have sex with someone with no meaning attached, do it. I can’t stand others being ridiculed for sex so much. I mean it’s great so enjoy it!

  3. This was such a good read, I can't believe that in 2018 people still care if you're a virgin or not.

    I was 14 when I lost my virginity and it was because of the social pressure. I do wish I waited.

  4. I cannot believe people still care whether you are or aren't a virgin!

    I was 15 and I wish I waited.

    Shirley |

  5. Such an incredibly tiring question. I really wonder how long it will be before losing your virginity wouldn't be the most important thing in life for teenagers.
    I've had my fair share of "Aren't you finally going to have sex?" questions from my friends.
    I was 20, and although it was not a "magical" night with someone I cared deeply about, I did it because I wanted to and because I felt ready. I am glad I made that decision and did not give into the peer pressure.


  6. Really like this post. I lost mine when I was very young but because I wanted to, not because I was pressured into it. I have friends who lost theirs much later in life but it depends on what makes you happy and when you feel ready. It's inspiring that you are talking so opening about it, hopefully it will help young women feel more confident in saying no and not feeling pressured into losing their virginity.

  7. I'm so glad you brought light to this subject, I don't get why it's such a big deal. It's your body and your choice. I lost mine when I was ready and with someone who I absolutely adore and I'll never regret waiting for that xx


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